Monday, December 6, 2010

Into His hand went mine



YOU are a rock bigger than I...I am trying to hold onto something that is
to much for me...sometimes things just need to fall

Urnatur

It is here that I am sorting..wanting to just spill out every last drop of pain
but I can't..yet.  There is no one big enough to handle it but YOU..
It is why I am finally writing...it is my link to sanity


Urnatur

I sit across from YOU in the light...gently warming my arm
there is nothing hidden from YOUR gaze...
much like Jacob...we wrestle..I am exhausted but YOU
know that already...

Urnatur

it is my prison house...not without purpose...no matter how long it takes me
to be at that place..at the right time .. where YOU meets ME and it is
caught

Urnatur


"When you're lost in those woods, it sometimes takes you a while to realize that you are lost. For the longest time, you can convince yourself that you've just wandered off the path, that you'll find your way back to the trailhead any moment now. Then night falls again and again, and you still have no idea where you are, and its time to admit that you have bewildered yourself so far off the path that you don't even know from which direction the sun rises anymore." 



while I can wander for years ... I can't go far YOU always call me back
with INTENSITY ... my faith grows


 Urnatur

We talk, laugh, cry,
we build, tear down, search and find...
we relate
trust grows

Urnatur

the anger from years of hurt would seem like power
it's not..it will eat away the soul where the former life was is marred and
misshapen into something foreign...unknown


Urnatur

Power is not in the anger...it is in the letting go...the stepping into..much liked
being sucked into a vortex of a tornado...reeling from the unknown..real fears...
not so much exaggerated...longing for just something to hold onto...something
human...
maybe that's been the problem


Urnatur

sometimes the humaneness will be on the other side...maybe I am the pioneer
and the explorer...sometimes you have been given a mantle but you don't
believe it...it just couldn't be...
haven't you prayed for these things my child?? Don't you remember the verses
from years ago??  Do you think I just gave with no intention?
in prison houses you power is ripened

Urnatur

"At some point, as Richard keeps telling me, you gotta let go and sit still and allow contentment to come to you. ( Elizabeth Gilbert..Eat Love Pray )
Father...with silent screams my very being cries out for you to rescue me...I have been so angry about that...now I am seeing pieces of the puzzle that are starting to make sense...there are times
in life that we are to run...and run fast but we don't understand ....aha moment...you haven't really ever sat still...You will be ok...I WILL take care of you...I will come

Urnatur


and when I do...you will know which direction the sun rises my beloved...again
Sit quietly and cease your relentless participation..for now ( Elizabeth Gilbert )

It's Monday


Joining



Underlined portions from streams in the desert
Photo credit to the Anthropologist

6 comments:

Between You and Me said...

we all find ourselves wandering back to the desert places...I know that I do.

No matter how good freedom tastes, I still wander back and find myself imprisoned again to something.

I'll pray for you...and you pray for me.

glad for blogland this morning.
it's refreshing to knwo that you are not alone.

God is with you and so are a host of other people in your same boat.

Amy Kinser said...

May God bless you, my friend. Remember how big His arms are when you need a place to lay your head.

Jen said...

I'm so glad you linked up today -- your words and your pictures capture beauty and His gifts to us.

Power is not in the anger...it is in the letting go -- this is my favorite line. A surrender and then a cloaking of power that can only be granted by the One Above.

Erin @itsgrace.com said...

I love the assurance that His power increases and we grow, while in the prison.

I'm in a desert prison right now, your post comforted me and brought words to some of my feelings. Thank you.

Thank you for sharing, and I hope and pray that you will soon be free.

Amy Sullivan said...

Your words go perfectly with the pictures. Beautiful.

Nancy said...

First time here--wandered over from Jen's. I don't know your story yet. Beautiful pictures here, and words that hold both pain and hope for healing. This...just wanting something human to hold onto...maybe that's been the problem. Yes, that's the problem for so many of us; maybe all. We've just not known it as deeply as you. Blessings to you in the waiting, in the healing.

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your encouragement-stories and prayers mean much...always feel free to email me @ tiffkilgore@live.com

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